Category Archives: The Dogs

Things These Fuckers Have Eaten:Part Eleventy Hundre…er Two? Really? OK. Two.

Yep. These fuckers, they are still eating things. I admit, I have been known to perhaps bait them with a screaming monkey now and again:

I can take him....Told you.But these next two, well these two were entirely the fault of the child, who likes to, erm, play with the dogs when she should be sleeping.  And by play, I mean “taunt them with toys until they want nothing more than to eat out the eyes the second she falls asleep”:

Ok, it's actually rather fucking creepy that they only ate his eyes.

Before we found him, stuffed in the box spring, (Yes, the one they ate the fabric off of the first time) We found his eyes.

Man: Hey, um, why is there an eye on the floor right here?

Me: Argh! Fuckers!

Fuckers: We’re going to casually walk behind the couch for a minute. Not sure what we did, but it’s best to look innocent.

Me: !!

Fuckers: It could have been worse. See:

I shall call him Mr. Blind Assless Monkey-Face.Fuckers: We could have eaten his ass and his eyes.

Me: This is me, NOT GIVING YOU A MILKBONE. BAD DOGS!

At this point they both shrugged, and muttered something about being full already anyway. On account of whatever this was, I assume:

Don't ask. One of many random unidentifiable dog casualties.

and a side of carpet:

Argh!!! Arghhhhhhhhhh!

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Filed under Snark, The Dogs

And Now, For Some Actual Content. (Sorta)

Ok.  I have officially become  one of THOSE PEOPLE.

You know, the chicks that carry their little dogs around in their little dog purses, and dress them up and stuff. The ones that kiss their ugly little dogs on the lips and talk to them in baby talk and hand feed them bits of dinner.

I mean,  the UnHusband won’t actually let me dress the dog up, and I can’t afford a fucking dog purse, ( I won’t spend more than 20 bucks on a purse for ME, as we all know.)

But, I  would do these things. I am not even kidding.  I want to carry this damn dog around and put sweaters on him and stuff. He is my baby. I can’t not snuggle him constantly.

Have I mentioned that I don’t even like chihuahuas? But I love him to death.

Puppy lurveeeeeeeee!

Sigh. I think I need another kid. Or counseling.

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Filed under Rants, Rambling, and Musing., The Dogs

So, You’d Like to Take a Picture?

My subject was a simple one. The wooden castle that the kid had received  as a holiday gift. The mission? A still photo using the color intensifying effect built into the camera. Today I spent working with red, and wandering around my house searching for things with bits of red in them to highlight. And the castle seemed like a likely subject.

All was quiet and everyone was occupied elsewhere. I settled down on the floor and snapped a few shots to frame my subject:

(As always, hover-snark enabled. Mouse over for commentary)

Ah, what a lovely castle!My! What a lovely castle, you might think! I’d love to see more!

Oh Noes! An Invading army!

Wait.. what’s that?

Help! We are being over run by the enemy!

Dog: Were you trying to take a picture of this thing? I wanna see!

Kid: Hey Mom! What are you doing? taking a picture of a castle? Cool! Hey, you know what this picture needs Mommy?

Mrrrrr...oooo rrrr moorrr rrr

An incredibly ugly cow penguin thing! Yes!

Oh! And also:

You can't not look. You just can't.

And X-Wing fighter! And a dog’s ass!

Perfect!

At which point I give in.

Ahhh.. Fuck it. Its perfect just the way it is.

Lovely!

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Filed under Rants, Rambling, and Musing., Snark, The Dogs

Festive Photo Shoot with Dogs.

…Did not go as hoped. As always, mouse over for commentary

Reindog is Not Amused.if I wear it, I can has cookie?...ThanksI can has cookies too? I'm wearin it!OySo much for THAT idea..

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Filed under Festive Things, Snark, The Dogs

More dog torturing.

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Filed under Snark, The Dogs

I am not amused

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Filed under Snark, The Dogs

Ghosts In the Woods

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Filed under The Dogs, The Kid, and The Other Kids.