Things These Fuckers Have Eaten:Part Eleventy Hundre…er Two? Really? OK. Two.

Yep. These fuckers, they are still eating things. I admit, I have been known to perhaps bait them with a screaming monkey now and again:

But these next two, well these two were entirely the fault of the child, who likes to, erm, play with the dogs when she should be sleeping.  And by play, I mean “taunt them with toys until they want nothing more than to eat out the eyes the second she falls asleep”:

Before we found him, stuffed in the box spring, (Yes, the one they ate the fabric off of the first time) We found his eyes.

Man: Hey, um, why is there an eye on the floor right here?

Me: Argh! Fuckers!

Fuckers: We’re going to casually walk behind the couch for a minute. Not sure what we did, but it’s best to look innocent.

Me: !

Fuckers: It could have been worse. See:

Fuckers: We could have eaten his ass and his eyes.

Me: This is me, NOT GIVING YOU A MILKBONE. BAD DOGS!

At this point they both shrugged, and muttered something about being full already anyway. On account of whatever this was, I assume:

and a side of carpet:

And Now, For Some Actual Content. (Sorta)

Ok.  I have officially become  one of THOSE PEOPLE.

You know, the chicks that carry their little dogs around in their little dog purses, and dress them up and stuff. The ones that kiss their ugly little dogs on the lips and talk to them in baby talk and hand feed them bits of dinner.

I mean,  the UnHusband won’t actually let me dress the dog up, and I can’t afford a fucking dog purse, ( I won’t spend more than 20 bucks on a purse for ME, as we all know.)

But, I  would do these things. I am not even kidding.  I want to carry this damn dog around and put sweaters on him and stuff. He is my baby. I can’t not snuggle him constantly.

Have I mentioned that I don’t even like chihuahuas? But I love him to death.

Sigh. I think I need another kid. Or counseling.

So, You’d Like to Take a Picture?

My subject was a simple one. The wooden castle that the kid had received  as a holiday gift. The mission? A still photo using the color intensifying effect built into the camera. Today I spent working with red, and wandering around my house searching for things with bits of red in them to highlight. And the castle seemed like a likely subject.

All was quiet and everyone was occupied elsewhere. I settled down on the floor and snapped a few shots to frame my subject:

(As always, hover-snark enabled. Mouse over for commentary)

My! What a lovely castle, you might think! I’d love to see more!

Wait.. what’s that?

Dog: Were you trying to take a picture of this thing? I wanna see!

Kid: Hey Mom! What are you doing? taking a picture of a castle? Cool! Hey, you know what this picture needs Mommy?

An incredibly ugly cow penguin thing! Yes!

Oh! And also:

And X-Wing fighter! And a dog’s ass!

Perfect!

At which point I give in.

Lovely!

Festive Photo Shoot with Dogs.

…Did not go as hoped. As always, mouse over for commentary

More dog torturing.

My day so far.

Feel free to mouse over for random comments.

Because I’ve got nothing better to do