Okay, so remember how I said this blog was going to be a little less a mom-blog and a little more about my other interests? I know, I have been failing miserably at that, huh?
It’s hard not to talk about the kid, when she has been here for 3 million years weeks, talking to me non-stop. And since my other interests right now involve well, this, documenting the not–so–secret lives of my dogs, watching too much television, and taking pictures of dead bugs,
…you get the point. But, now school has started back up, and the holidays are over, I have more time to focus on.. er, whatever it is I do all day. Mostly that is laundry. And reading other blogs.
Speaking of other blogs: There is a post over at Her Bad Mother’s Basement that caught my attention.
If you have read anything here before you probably know that while I love my kid(s) to death, I do yearn for my own personal fulfillment as well. That’s part of why I’m here. I have spent so much of my life living in the very narrow perspective that comes when you have children. I was nineteen when I had my first. I didn’t get to finish school, or really, have any period of “freedom”. So.. I understand, pretty well what the woman who posted there is going through. I went through it too. Right down to the part about resenting my husband for being able to just go do shit, whenever he felt like it, without having to even think about it.
If you scroll through the comments far enough, you can see my rather annoyed response at the way some of the commenter’s were treating this poor woman.
Listen, I fully agree that there are people out there that should not have children, and people who complain about them constantly, or who put themselves before their kids, time and time again, but for people to accuse this woman of being a shitty parent for venting? In a place that was created to be a place to do just that?
Come on, people. If you are one of those people that claims to love every single minute of parenthood, no matter how much feces and screaming is involved, you are a liar. If you have never had a moment where you perhaps wistfully imagined a different life, far away from diapers and tantrums, it doesn’t make you a better parent than those of us who have the occasional fleeting dream of a lovely, puke free, existence. It doesn’t mean we love our kids any less. It just means we are human.
I admit, I sometimes do things just for me. I sometimes hang out on the internet, and ignore my house, and my kid and my un-husband too. I am not a child abuser. My kid is awesome, and smart and happy. Sometimes, I just need to do something just for myself.
Because, I am actually a better parent when I am feeling fulfilled and happy. When we neglet ourselves, I think everyone suffers for it. So, if you are feeling this way, I encourage you to look for an outlet. (Even if its something silly.) Get a job if you want to and can swing it, get a hobby, join a book club. Whatever. Find something you enjoy doing that isn’t about the kids, or the husband for that matter. Do something that is just for you. It’s the year of Mom, after all.
At the very least, find people to talk to. Because we have all been there, and most of us will admit it.