Category Archives: The Board
I’m not sure why Moo is a pissed off bunny with bad hair and what looks to be a pooping problem, but here we are anyway:
I decided I should probably break of the monotony of woe-is-me-my-life-sucks posts with some humor. I searched far and wide and really, all I got was this, and it’s not even particularly funny:
“Look, Mommy. It’s a Witch! Like you!”
I have tried to explain to her, many many times, that the stereotype of a witch is a rather nasty thing people made up to demonize people with different beliefs.
I mean, she’s five, so what I actually said was, “Honey, that’s mean, Witches don’t really look like that. You know that. ”
” Look, she even has a wart on her nose!”
I suppose at least she is smiling, (or is that a baby-eating grin?)
Also, um, is that a… surfboard?
“So Mom, what animal do you want me to draw?” She asks.
“A platypus,” I reply, jokingly.
An hour later, I wander by and, behold:
How the hell does she even know what a Platypus is, let alone what it looks like? Is one of the Wonderpets a platypus? Hell, I don’t even really know what one looks like.
So, yeah. What can I say? The kid likes utensils.
Mouse hover over picture.
So, the Kid, being a fast learner, has quickly learned the art of parental guilt trips, as you can see by today’s board.
(Yes, “Kiki” is her nickname, and “Moo” is The Man’s nickname, though I think he may kill me if I henceforth start referring to him as that)
One day, she got in trouble for whatever reason, and later on that evening, we passed by, noticed this, and of course felt guilty and terrible for about twelve seconds. Until she grinned, and we knew it was all part of an evil plot to bend us to her will. Must…resist…guilt…
I love how I got honorable mention, almost as an afterthought, shes all Oh..“And you, Mommy”
(If you can’t read five year old… Evin win yor = Even when you’re)
There have been other instances, several times she has written ” I’m sorry” After being scolded. Not said anything about it either, we just walk by, and there is this apology on the board. “I’m sorry Mommy”
Oh my heart.
During the holidays, the mans father sent the kid one of those giant easel things that requires 12 beers, 3 fights, and 4 hours to put together, and then once it is up you have no idea where the fuck the thing is going to go.
Anyway, we are grateful, and after we finally found a place to stick it, we gave the kids some dry erase markers, removed all the paint and paint paraphernalia and let her have at it. And since then, every day we have been greeted with a new work of art. I’m sure these are going to amuse no one else but me, but since this is my Internet house, I’m going to stick them up here, whenever I happen to remember, anyway.
Because my child is the most awesomest artist ever. And because she draws some pretty weird shit. Behold:
I really don’t know. I could ask her, but it is actually more fun to speculate. My theory is that it is a giant, eating a chicken.