And Then There Was Stupid…

My post about the god stuff at school has reminded me of another incident that happened almost two years ago now.

There once was a woman, in our local playgroup. She wasn’t there very long, but she sure did make an impression in the short time that she was there. I managed to piss her off in many ways, during her time with us, but this one was epic.

It started with an email about the Easter Bunny, of all things. She set up a playdate at the mall to meet up and let the kids see the Easter bunny. And she happened to set it up on the same day as something I had already planned. I didn’t care, and no one else seemed to notice, but she immediately posted this message to the group about the crisis. With four !!!! in her subject line I might add:

Sorry to say that we have two events booked on the same day..

I have the  Mall Easter Bunny ~ Lunch ~ Play

on the same day as Pando’s in house Playdate.

Please make sure that you don’t double-book yourself…

***Sorry this was the most popular day voted , the Easter Bunny leaves on the 6th, and I wanted not to tie up that week for more easter egg fun events at parks….***

Thanks, CrazyPlaygroupLady

Emphasis and text size hers.

I  sent off  this  somewhat snarky reply without thinking too much of it, other than being slightly annoyed by the.. tone and  fluorescent-ness of her unnecessary email.

It’s the day everyone voted for in my poll as well.

We have no desire to see the easter bunny here, and I’m sure I’m not the only one! There’s enough people in the group that I’m sure there will be a good turnout at both events. There’s always more than one playdate a day, it seems! 🙂

-Pando

Oh, god the shitstorm that started.  I immediately received an email from her, off of the board with the subject line, ” I AM OFFENDED!” Here is the text of that email.

I wanted to discuss this off the board…

I thought your response to my email, of kindly reminding everyone that I double booked Friday.. WAS RUDE!  Ref:“We have no desire to see the easter bunny here, and I’m sure I’m not the only one! “

I am sorry that it was a popular day.. I know that you will be having many more inside play dates in the future every month, so I didn’t feel like this was a big deal since we were just there on Friday.

I hope I am reading your “Tone” wrong and you are more calm than you sounded about the Easter Bunny. It wasn’t for us adults….it is for the KIDS obviously..

Also because I know others have different beliefs and views.. that was the reason I offered to come to 1 or all three of the events in the mall that day.

My tone writing this email is a very “Hurt” and a “Offended” one.. I enjoyed our time at your play date, even though the drive was a bit far.. I had looked forward to attending another one here in the future… Now I am not sure.

Thank you, I hope you realize that I am emailing you my feelings because I cared enough about you after meeting you to hopefully understand how you could be so rude.

CrazyPlaygroupLady

Seriously, I don’t hate the Easter bunny. But aside from that, I’d thought that my tone was obviously flippant, and not at all foaming- at-the mouth-crazed-bunny-hating.  I was just pointing out that I was probably not the only one who didn’t care to see the fucking creepy guy in the crusty, pee smelling, rabbit suit. Also.. What. The. Hell?

I immediately replied to her in an attempt to do damage control. I also emailed the group with a note stating that I didn’t  hate the fucking bunny, in case I had seriously offended anyone else. The reply I sent to her is as follows.

I really wasn’t trying to be rude!! You totally read me wrong. Was absolutely NOT intended to be RUDE.   Just honest.

I said what I did because…we really don’t care about the bunny here, that’s all.. It’s not a BAD thing, just a reference to the fact that we don’t celebrate Easter, we are not Christian or Catholic (in case you didn’t notice the menorahs while you were here)…  Not rude… HONEST.  I am not anti-easterbunny, and I do participate in spring activities, but the kid really doesn’t know who he is and doesn’t want to wait in line to see some scary guy in a costume! (joking here again)

Seriously… I’m very calm  about it, it was a flippant remark.

I absolutely do not care that there is another playdate scheduled for the same day, it happens ALL the time, and it really wasn’t even necessary to inform people, there’s almost always more than one playdate on any given day… they will chose whichever one they feel like going to! It is very much NOT a big deal and I’m sorry it bothered you. I’m sorry if I scheduled a playdate that coincides with yours, i just went with what people voted for!

If you have an issue with  me or something you think I’ve done, please just call me and don’t react like this. I am the LEAST high strung person there is, and I am not at all confrontational or intentionally rude. I am however, sarcastic, and people sometimes take what I say the wrong way.

And, then, I went on with my life.  I came home a few hours later, after going out with some other girlfriends for a drink, to find that she had called while I was gone. And spoken to the Jewish man of the house. Told him all about our little issue and how much she had been offended.  At which point he pointed out that we were at least half Jewish over here, and therefore didn’t do the bunny thing. It wasn’t offensive, it just was. He stuck up for me, and tried to explain this strange concept to her. We didn’t let our kid sit on santa’s lap either. JEWISH. Apparently she had never met a real life Jew before. Around this point in  the conversation, she asked: ” But how do you guys celebrate Christmas without the Christ?

I am pretty sure that if he had had a spork handy at that time he would have stuck it right in his own eye right then.

I laughed, a lot, after he told me this, and then made the mistake of checking my email. Where I found this gem:

Thank you for the clarification..but your Honesty on the board, came across RUDE. I just don’t think, on the board, unless everyone, personally knows you. That it wasn’t written rudely. For the record, the Easter Bunny to most of us “Religious” people. Is a symbol of Spring and the celebration of Easter. Gotta love how people can separate the two, for example..those who celebrate Christmas as a Holiday wouldn’t even have that option if it wasn’t recognized as “Christmas” nationally. (OK I will get off my soap box now..)

I am trying to tap into my memory of what a menorah stands for.. I believe if I am correct it is Jewish? My girlfriends are Jewish and they celebrate Easter,Passover etc… some of the same things us Non-Denominational Christians do.. So I am a bit confused how that explains your comment, about the Easter Bunny…

I will always, make a notation, if I have double-booked something on the board to any group that I belong to, whether necessary or not, just out of politeness. Hope you guys have fun on your 2nd play date this month. Take Care.

I love the little passive aggressive shot there at the end about my ” 2nd play date this month”. Seriously, are you twelve?

To explain my comment re: “My girlfriends are Jewish and they celebrate Easter,Passover etc… some of the same things us Non-Denominational Christians do.. So I am a bit confused how that explains your comment, about the Easter Bunny… ” At this point, my head just explodes. Perhaps her friends are Jews for Jesus or something. And this email was sent after she had called and he had TRIED to explain Judaism to her. Yes, many people participate in the rituals of some of the popular holidays without actually believing in Christ.  Easter and Christmas were both there BEFORE Christ was, under different names. I know you like to think everything revolves around your beliefs, but that is just not the case. So you actually CAN have a Christmas without the Christ, (called YULE, you moron) and you CAN also choose to ignore the Easter bunny if you are JEWISH. How hard is that to get?

I’m mostly a “Pagan” myself. For the record, the bunny himself is simply a symbol of fertility and springtime. A symbol that does not have a fucking thing to do with Christ in my book. Unless Jesus was carried out of his cave by a disciple in a giant dirty bunny suit, in which case, please send me all artists renderings of said miracle.  At any rate, I generally let the kid eat unhealthy junkfood and hunt for eggs at Easter. And we don’t talk about Jesus Any more than we talk about Jesus on his birthday-that-isn’t-actually-his-birthday-so-read-your-bibles people. We celebrate the season. There. Separated.

Oh, and, we generally don’t sit our kid on strangers laps, because, that’s just fucking creepy.