Tag Archives: Television

A Letter to Some of the Programs I DVR

I’m sorry TeeVee. You know I ❤  you. I really do. I hate to do this. But, alas, there is only so much time in my life, and I am running out of space. So, some of you are going to have to go. I might come back to you, in DVD form sometime. Maybe. But don’t hold your breath.

It was a tough choice, but I had to do it. The following shows have not made the cut.

CSI- New York. Really, I tried to care, I did, but I just don’t. I care so little that I am at least ten episodes behind and I have no idea if Stella has the AIDS or not.  And I just can’t make myself care, no matter how hard I try. And, CSI Miami, you are on thin ice. There better be some good shit in those five episodes I have waiting to be watched. Like, you better actually kill Horatio or something. I’m talking epic here.

The “New” 90210. I only started watching this because, well, come on, it’s 90210. But while the old 90210 was full of juicy high school  crap and bad hair to make fun of, this one just makes me want to slit arteries and stick sporks in my eyes for good measure.

Law and Order: SVU. I only started watching this because every time I read a write up of the most popular shows out there, the Law and Orders and CSI’s are up there and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I came in last season and I still can’t figure out if the chick with the name is doing the guy with the anger management issues or not. I didn’t HATE this show, so I may catch back up via DVD at a later date, but as it stands now, I just can’t bring myself to watch the backlog of episodes. But for now, I think im sticking with NCIS to fill my crime solving needs.

Numb3rs: I enjoy this show when I do watch it, sort of. But I have nine episodes I haven’t watched cluttering up my hard drive. And I just, never have a moment when I  sit down and say, ” Gee, I’d sure like to watch some Numb3rs”. I just don’t.

Heroes: Don’t hate me, Everyone in the World.  But you know, when you stop recording something because it conflicts with Samantha Who, you are just not that into it. I mean, Samantha Who is a shitty 30 minute sitcom. I hate 30 Minute sitcoms. (The list of shows that I watch that are 30 minutes long is very short, and with the exception of Liz Lemon and Stewart/Colbert,  entirely animated. I feel the 30 minute sit-com is mainly a waste of my time. If you can’t devote an hour to entertaining me, why should I bother? Um, OK,  /Rant off)

Where am I? Oh. Yes.  I’d rather watch shitty sit-coms than Heroes. I think when Mohinder super-glued the guy to his wall with his bug-goo or whatever, the show just lost all plausibility for me.  I mean, I can handle the flying, and the invisible men and the making peoples eyes bleed black for no apparent reason.  The spider goo? Not so much.  Also, I keep getting this urge to go to church every time I watch an episode, for some strange reason. That’s not to say I won’t also go back to this on DVD after fifty more people tell me OMGZORS !!11! You HAVE  to watch it! Because, then I probably will. Peer pressure and all that. But for now, you are cut. And I feel no shame about it.

Eleventh Hour: To be honest, it was kind of a toss up between Eleventh Hour and Fringe. I’m pretty much a sucker for the Sci-Fi-mystery-type, (as evidinced by the fact that I actually sat through the  latest X-Files movie.) I have not actually watched either show in quite some time, but there is at least a chance I will watch Fringe again once I run out of everything else I want to watch first. I don’t feel that Eleventh Hour has that chance. Sorry.

On warning:

CSI: Miami: (See : CSI: New York)

Fringe:  More cow, please.

The Mentalist: Make me care a tad more and we will be good. Buy me flowers or something.

Prison Break: I’ve stuck with you  through the god-awfulness that was Sona (Soma? Sofa? Whatever.) And the incredibly grisly fake killing of Sara, I even accepted that you had your reasons for not killing off  “T-Bag”. I stuck with you long after The Man gave you up. Don’t make me regret it.


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Kosher Whatnow?

This came on during NCIS last night and I had to save it to show the Man because it was just so weird. ” You, know, I think I’m actually offended by that.” he said. Seriously, who thought this shit up?

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Pushing Daisies

As I have mentioned before, I love television. I know, it’s not considered cool to watch TV.  It’s not hip. But I never said I was cool, now did I?

I love the way a good story can take you to another place, put you in another’s shoes. I enjoy escaping with a good book, and a good show. I will watch many things, even past the point where I should clearly stop. But I do have some rules. With a few exceptions, I won’t watch half-hour programs, because that is just not enough time, in my opinion, to get a good plot going. And, as I have also mentioned, I hate reality TV,  including news programs, I prefer to read the news, (preferably in fact form minus spin), not have it  read to me by talking heads.

I want it to be fictional, and I want it to be funny, exciting and interesting. I want it to effectively take me away from my own life for 47 minutes. I don’t even generally care if the acting is bad, or even if the show is just bad, I will watch a bad show, if the, er, badness is interesting in and of itself.

Having been an avid watcher of many shows, both good and bad, I think I can safely say this: Pushing Daisies is one of the most interesting new shows out there. Of course, this means it will be cancelled promptly, but hey, I just wanted to give it a shout out beforehand.

I heart this show. Truly. There is nothing else on the major networks right now that makes me feel as though everyone in the world has taken one too many hits of LSD at some point. First off, the guy works in a pie.   Putting aside the fact that he can bring dead people back to life for a minute, just think about this. He works in a PIE.  You know how much I like pie, right?

I enjoy this show because it’s different. Unique. The world in this show is a slightly fuzzier version of our world, with a little more magic. It’s creative.

Ahh.. fuck. I googled for pictures and read that it has been cancelled already.

Seriously, the people who decide this shit are fucking stupid. I am so sick of getting into a show only to have it cancelled after a season. They don’t give the shows a fair chance to pick up a following, they don’t allow for time to develop characters, and they don’t respect the fan base. Stop throwing away good ideas just to make way for fucking reality TV bullshit that gets eaten up by the mindless masses like sheep balls on “Fear Factor.”  Give the things that are actually creative a chance.

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Dear Advertisers:

Please stop using the term “bailout” to  ply your crap, promote your sale or endorse your contest.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

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