Monthly Archives: April 2010

A day in the life of me


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Every Day Is Earth Day

Years ago, I decided to make a change by slowly replacing things in my life with healthier, more natural things. I admit, with my health problems and everything else going on in our lives, “going green” has fallen low on my list of  priorities, but I haven’t forgotten about it.  I managed to go from chemical cleaning products to “natural” commercial products and now, I’m going all the way. Vinegar,  baking soda, tea tree oil, castile soap, essential oils. Rags and elbow grease. I admit. it’s not as convenient and easy, but after I cleaned yesterday I was amazed at how shiny and beautiful it all looked. And smelled.  But the best part of all was how I felt.

I think I am finally free of commercial cleaners and chemicals. My kid can lick the floor, and be in the bathroom while I am cleaning it and i don’t have to worry about him getting poisoned.  I don’t know why it took me so long.

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I’d dropped Kiki off at school as usual, and was heading home with the baby when it happened. I saw the policeman standing on the side of the road with his radar gun. He made eye contact and waved me over. Shit.

“Do you know how fast you were going?”


“Twenty-six. And do you know what the speed limit is?”


“Wrong, it’s a school zone. The speed limit is fifteen.”

“Um. Oh.” I glance in my rear view mirror at the End School Zone sign a good block and a half behind me. But,  I bite my lip because nothing good will come of me opening my mouth in this situation. Trust me, I have learned from experience. The baby starts to fuss.

Officer Smiley then asks me for my license and registration. Shit!

“Um, Yeah. I forgot my wallet in my diaper bag at home. I was just dropping my daughter off and I live right… Um…You can look it up, can’t you?” You are lucky I have pants on.

“Yeah. Whats your name?”

I spell it for him and he wanders off for a good ten minutes. When he comes back he looks annoyed. So am I. Elijah is past fussing at this point and is full out screaming.  And it’s cold and my engine is off so there’s no heat.

“I can’t find you in the system,” he says. “Are you sure this is the correct spelling?”

I spell it again and suggest he try my maiden name too just in case. Another ten minutes pass, which I spend trying to avoid eye contact with every other parent from my kids school as they stare at me on their way past. I can see them all wondering what I did. I fervently wish his car was behind mine, to block the easily identifiable trailer hitch. Shiiiit.

Officer Inconvenient returns finally. “You still aren’t coming up. What’s your social?”

I relay the information and  ask if I can get out of the car, because at this point, my son is full-on-red-faced wailing at the top of his lungs.

“Nope, stay put, I’ll be right back.”

Another ten minutes or so pass, during which I realize several things. I forgot to take my medication, I have to pee, and I’m not wearing a bra.  SHIT!

A  month later, he returns. “You still aren’t coming up. Give me your social one last time.”

“575-” I say.





Eventually, Officer Dyslexic gets it right with the computer and discovers that I do actually exist and am not some fugitive drug-muling soccer mom. At this point, I’ve taken to grinning maniacally and parade-waving at the rubberneckers. I think I’m going to skip this months PFA meeting though.

When he finally comes back with his ticket book I’m startled, as I’d been busy trying to figure out just how hard it would be to clean pee out of my upholstery and if it’s maybe worth the effort- and Elijah is busy strangling his blue bunny whilst screaming his anger at it. He’s hungry at this point, and no amount of consoling will do.

“Well, I’m doing you a favor. Speeding in a school zone is an expensive ticket. Instead I’ve given you a ticket for failing to carry your license. It was a huge waste of my time to have to look you up in the system. Be sure to carry it with you from now on.”

My lip is now bleeding because of how hard my teeth are dug into it, but I manage to smile and nod, and mumble a “Thank you”  before I flee back to the safety of my home, where I look at the ticket.

Crap. 110 bucks! Steve is going to kill me.

Surprisingly, he is pretty cool about the ticket, and I forgot about it until a few days later when the first driving school flier arrives in the mail.

Hmm. But, my ticket didn’t put points on my license.

Then I realize it’s in his name. Turns out, HE got a $300 speeding ticket the day before.

And when we go to pay mine, they ask to see my license. As long as I have one, the fee?

Ten bucks.

*Disclaimer* This actually happened several months ago, but I never got around to finishing the post until now.

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Home Again, Home Again.

And back to my real life. Which consists of doctors appointments and now weekly injections of methotrexate. And dropping Kiki off at school and picking Kiki up from school. And  going to soccer games,  cooking dinner and changing diapers. Supervising homework and packing for our (probable) move. Cleaning and grocery shopping and hopefully… blogging.

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Our Spring Break

A few weeks ago our family got into a car- including one poor dog:

And of course baby Elijah- who is now 5 months old:

(Aka: “Squishface,” “Sir Squish”, “Mr Squishford” and “Squishy”. ) Who, in my defense, IS super squishy:

Mom and Dad went too, of course.

Dad, by the way,  weighs less than Kiki when on Uranus.  In case you were wondering. (Mom, on the other hand, prefers to remain weightless)

While we were there, we visited the Science Museum. Obviously. There were dinosaurs!

And although it was  nearly 80 degrees and spring like when we got there,

Mother nature is fickle, and by the end of the week, there were snowflakes to chase:

But,  most importantly, there were friends and family lined up to welcome Elijah into the world.

Great grandparents and grandparents, among many others.

And we even stopped off at the mall so a brave little lady could get her ears pierced.

And Elijah even had his first Passover Matzoh

All in all, it was an adventure, some parts wonderful, some parts sorrowful, bittersweet and exciting. As is life, I suppose.

But it’s also nice to be home. Even though me and the baby seem to have brought the Buffalo plague home with us, (which is less fun when coupled with my RA flare up -Yeah, I apparently have that now and it does not like long car rides or cold weather– and my annoyed pancreas)

Although home may not be so for much longer, as it seems likely we will be moving to Houston. Also, I came home to find out that my oldest child, who just turned eleven, is now officially a woman. Ack. Eek. And Holy shit. I feel old.

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