Monthly Archives: November 2008

Pushing Daisies

As I have mentioned before, I love television. I know, it’s not considered cool to watch TV.  It’s not hip. But I never said I was cool, now did I?

I love the way a good story can take you to another place, put you in another’s shoes. I enjoy escaping with a good book, and a good show. I will watch many things, even past the point where I should clearly stop. But I do have some rules. With a few exceptions, I won’t watch half-hour programs, because that is just not enough time, in my opinion, to get a good plot going. And, as I have also mentioned, I hate reality TV,  including news programs, I prefer to read the news, (preferably in fact form minus spin), not have it  read to me by talking heads.

I want it to be fictional, and I want it to be funny, exciting and interesting. I want it to effectively take me away from my own life for 47 minutes. I don’t even generally care if the acting is bad, or even if the show is just bad, I will watch a bad show, if the, er, badness is interesting in and of itself.

Having been an avid watcher of many shows, both good and bad, I think I can safely say this: Pushing Daisies is one of the most interesting new shows out there. Of course, this means it will be cancelled promptly, but hey, I just wanted to give it a shout out beforehand.

I heart this show. Truly. There is nothing else on the major networks right now that makes me feel as though everyone in the world has taken one too many hits of LSD at some point. First off, the guy works in a pie.   Putting aside the fact that he can bring dead people back to life for a minute, just think about this. He works in a PIE.  You know how much I like pie, right?

I enjoy this show because it’s different. Unique. The world in this show is a slightly fuzzier version of our world, with a little more magic. It’s creative.

Ahh.. fuck. I googled for pictures and read that it has been cancelled already.

Seriously, the people who decide this shit are fucking stupid. I am so sick of getting into a show only to have it cancelled after a season. They don’t give the shows a fair chance to pick up a following, they don’t allow for time to develop characters, and they don’t respect the fan base. Stop throwing away good ideas just to make way for fucking reality TV bullshit that gets eaten up by the mindless masses like sheep balls on “Fear Factor.”  Give the things that are actually creative a chance.


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Dear Advertisers:

Please stop using the term “bailout” to  ply your crap, promote your sale or endorse your contest.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

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When I went to pick the kid up from school, a guy in a giant dinosaur suit was hanging out in the parent pick up line. I have no idea why. No, it was not this guy. ( Okay, when I found that link I was forced to listen to ten seconds of Barney talking. Is it me or does he sound even more like a creepy pedophile than he used to? Is that even possible?)

Yesterday, after my procedure, they were kind enough to give me forms covered with pictures of various internal parts of my body as taken by their scope of fun. Every picture looked like an anus. After much deliberation, I decided that reposting them here would probably be too much. Even for me. And no, none of the pictures is actually my anus.

With the exception of the box of crayons and the mystery wood, the dogs have not eaten anything exciting this week.

I have been trying to download a game demo for three days now. Three days. What the fuck? It better not suck!

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Filed under Rants, Rambling, and Musing., Snark, The Kid, and The Other Kids.


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Doing things I promised I wouldn’t.

So yeah, I said I didn’t want to whine about my health. And I still don’t, but it is relevant to this post. Sorry.

I have been in my own world lately. Mainly on the internets, because that is what I am limited to by health and finances. I am told I am not being fair to the Kid or the Man.  I  have been asked if they are not enough for me.

The answer, is no. They are not.

I know, it sounds shitty. I’m ignoring my family for the Internet. And trying to justify it by blogging about it.

Let me explain anyway. I have spent my entire life taking care of other people. From childhood on up, I have been putting me last and everyone else first. I had a boyfriend move in with me when we were sixteen and I had a child of my own by age nineteen. I gave up having an education, a career, friends, and a life of my own. It was my choice, and I don’t regret my children. Yes, sometimes I felt unfulfilled but most of the time I was content.  I just figured I would have those things, eventually. Someday, when the kids were older, I would be able to travel. I would be able to see some of the places I’d dreamed about. I’d be able to explore the world, and maybe, just maybe leave MY mark on it. I’d be able to live my life. Maybe have a career, or make some art. Experience some things.

But, now, things are different. Even if I live for the next ten years, and eventually the pain stops, like I’m told will eventually happen, what they keep forgetting to mention is that when the pain stops, my pancreas will be dead. Which will bring about a whole new fun round of issues for me to deal with.  None of which is going to enable me to travel and live out my dreams. And even if I were perfectly healthy, It’s really hitting home for me just how much our time here is measured. We could all die tomorrow. And I’m wasting precious seconds. I feel like my life is sand that is slipping through my fingers, faster and faster each day.

While I don’t hate being at home and caring for the kid and being with the man, I do need something else. Something for me. Something besides cooking and cleaning and being sick and bitchy and in pain.  I’m trying desperately to find something I can do. Some way to leave my mark. I want to be someone. Not just someones mom, or someones girlfriend, or someones ex-wife.

This does not mean I am not happy with my life or the relationship I have, or grateful my child, because I am, incredibly.  I can’t say it enough. This is not about anyone but me.  Maybe I am being selfish and not giving everyone around me what they need right now. In fact I know I am, to some extent. I know they are taking the brunt of my emotional fucking rollercoaster as well. I just don’t have much to give lately. And I know I should be enjoying every second of time I do have with those I love, with those that love me, as well. And I am trying. But I need more. I need to find a way. I want the kids to be able to say something about me other than:

” This was my mom, she was sick, and then she died.”

And, no, a Motrin would not help. STFU about Motrin, plzkthx. There’s wayyyy more important things to be up at arms about. When I wake up and see this story in every. Single. Blog. I read. I can not tell you how sad that makes me. If we could all just use our powers for good. Jesus.  You got a company to pull an ad because it offended you. Imagine what you could do about something that actually mattered, if you tried. Yeah, the ad was lame. But still. Go twitter about a REAL issue and make some real change.

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