Things These Fuckers Have Eaten:Part Eleventy Hundre…er Two? Really? OK. Two.

Yep. These fuckers, they are still eating things. I admit, I have been known to perhaps bait them with a screaming monkey now and again:

I can take him....Told you.But these next two, well these two were entirely the fault of the child, who likes to, erm, play with the dogs when she should be sleeping.  And by play, I mean “taunt them with toys until they want nothing more than to eat out the eyes the second she falls asleep”:

Ok, it's actually rather fucking creepy that they only ate his eyes.

Before we found him, stuffed in the box spring, (Yes, the one they ate the fabric off of the first time) We found his eyes.

Man: Hey, um, why is there an eye on the floor right here?

Me: Argh! Fuckers!

Fuckers: We’re going to casually walk behind the couch for a minute. Not sure what we did, but it’s best to look innocent.

Me: !!

Fuckers: It could have been worse. See:

I shall call him Mr. Blind Assless Monkey-Face.Fuckers: We could have eaten his ass and his eyes.

Me: This is me, NOT GIVING YOU A MILKBONE. BAD DOGS!

At this point they both shrugged, and muttered something about being full already anyway. On account of whatever this was, I assume:

Don't ask. One of many random unidentifiable dog casualties.

and a side of carpet:

Argh!!! Arghhhhhhhhhh!

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2 Comments

Filed under Snark, The Dogs

2 responses to “Things These Fuckers Have Eaten:Part Eleventy Hundre…er Two? Really? OK. Two.

  1. My airedale did that to one of my sisters bears. Ripped the eyes right out. It’s sorta creepy now, has the whole bind seer vibe going on.

  2. glummum

    We had a dog that would chew the eyes off, then the nose, then pull all the stuffing out….it was a little disturbing. We also have a blind white tiger….our dogs suck on it, like a pacifier. Hum…that’s kind of disturbing too.

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