I’m all about the new beginnings lately. I have finally seemed to land on a combination of medication that has left me feeling somewhat human and mostly pain and depression free. Some things still are not ideal, but I feel like I can start to work on changing them. I’m starting over in many different ways.
First, I’m trying to find us an active playgroup. I’m hoping I make some friends along the way because I desperately need to get out of my house, and it’s obvious I need people to talk to. And my kids need friends, children to grow up and share birthday parties with. This isolation has been making things ten times worse.
Second, it turns out, all this being sick and not eating has actually made me fat. Yeah.
I couldn’t figure out why even on a low calorie diet, eating all the right things I just can’t seem to lose any weight anymore. (I used to go up and down with no effort at all.) So I started tracking everything I actually ate and kept down, and it turns out, I’ve totally destroyed my metabolism and put myself in starvation mode. And when I AM able to keep food down, my body just stores it all. So I can gain, but not lose. And I just gave birth. So yeah. Fat. And in bad shape from being in bed for months after each procedure and on bad days. So, thanks to the advice of a friend, I did some research and discovered some interesting facts. Turns out, I’m doing it wrong. So, I’m starting over.
The first hurdle: EATING. Because of the pain associated with eating, I don’t usually eat until dinner time. and even though I eat a large dinner (And then medicate to compensate for it) it wasn’t actually enough calories. (It averages at around 600-800 a day.) So, I’m focusing on eating small, high protein meals every few hours, and getting up to 1200-1400 calories where I should be. It’s taking some adjusting, but I’m trying to do it in small steps. And I’m focusing on eating real, simple foods, which makes it pretty easy to figure out what i should and should not eat. Meat, Nuts, Eggs, Cheese, Veggies, Fruits, Whole Grains. Simple, identifiable foods. Also, lifting weights again to try and get my strength back, and getting back into my yoga routine, as well as walking.
I also embarked on a mission to reorganize the house, which has been, well… interesting. I’ve always had a touch of OCD and… well let’s just say: I don’t think my husbands sock drawer needs to be organized by color and size.
All that aside: There is no newer beginning than this, a new life, just begun, full of endless possibilities and dreams yet to be dreamed:
Thia post is part of Crazy Hip Bloggers Take it Tuesday.