Mostly. This smock thing I’m wearing-because its the only thing that will fit without making my stomach feel all squished-counts as clothes, right?
I did not, however have shoes. And I didn’t even notice until I was halfway to my kids school. And I realized braking feels weird.
Oh of course it does, because I’m not wearing any fucking shoes.
This pretty much sums up my life lately. First the dog pisses on me, and now I’m pregnant and wandering around my town without proper support undergarments, running people off the road and I forgot what I was doing here anyway? Oh yeah, Pie.
I had to go to Wal-Mart the other day, which is something I try to avoid, on principle, but I had one of those days where I had like 32 dollars, and I needed a bag of chips for a school project, glue gun sticks for my horse-on-a-stick, 8 yards of tulle, some brake fluid, bags for my diaper genie, and a prescription filled for my OMFGivegotyeastinmyMOUTH infection. So anyway, it was either brave Wal-Mart or not get any of this shit done.
So I went, but the whole time, I’m making sure to duck behind displays any time I see anyone with a cell phone, because I’m SURE they are all taking pictures of me, in my smock, pregnant, with my brake fluid, sans-bra, and shoes, and posting me on the People of Walmart site.
I think I’m done being pregnant now.