Max Payne

I was all set to review Max Payne, and maybe make some snarky comments about how the Man thought that chick from that 70’s show was actually kind of hot in this movie, (a fact with which I actually I kind of agree)

But then it sucked so bad I lost my ability to speak, let alone type a coherent snarky review.

I wasn’t expecting much, to be honest. I mean, sorry, Marky Mark fans, but he’s just not…he’s just… wrong. Not a superhero. That 70’s show chick would have made a better superhero.

But I could have dealt with that, I mean, he did okay, but the plot was just… so bad.

So, so irredeemably bad.  So bad that I am at a loss for words. Me. Without snark. I can’t even make fun of the badness.

Let’s put it this way: I would rather watch 90210.

So, since I am on the subject… why the hell did that get picked back up?

No one, anywhere that I have seen or heard about or even heard rumors about has ever had anything nice to say about that train wreck of a show. I mean, yeah, of course I watch it, but  holy crap is it bad. And I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Every review I have read has been about how terrible the acting is, and how boring the plot is. Where is the OLD 90210 drama and excitement? For that matter, where are the characters we give a crap about? Annie is so selfish and vapid I kind of want to run her over with a truck. Or you know, watch her get humiliated, Carrie-style. Which I am sure will happen in season two, as they seem to be going through high school cliches in short order. Or wait, wasnt that the other boring-chick-with-the-fake-injuries prom story?

Whatever. I don’t even care. Anyway. My point is, please save my TV from bad media. Give me good TV and good movies.

Stop canceling the decent crap and forcing us all to watch reality TV and really terrible, shallow dramas about vapid, uninteresting twits. Stop trying to create an Idiocracy!

Specifically, don’t cancel Chuck.  Consider that a warning.


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Filed under Books, Television, Movies, Music and Other Popular Things., Snark, Things That Suck

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