Train Wreck

I’m pretty aware of the fact that my life, at times, can resemble a train wreck. In fact, I am aware of several people who pretty much only read or talk to me to find out if anything catastrophic has happened lately.  And that’s fine.  I read a few blogs for the same reason. I admit it. It’s just human nature I suppose. Reading about other peoples crap makes us feel less bad about our own crap. Sometimes it even helps us put things in perspective.

I had written some of my crap out here in detail, although, but only about five of you were around when I did so.  It was a weird experience, but for the most part, I am okay with people reading it. That’s kind of why I put it out there, to see how it felt.

I took it down so I can flesh it out and make a coherent story out of it.

Everyone who has heard my story has told me I should write a book, but I’ve resisted the idea for several reasons. Because I am not sure what the laws about writing about other people are. Because I am not sure my kids are ready for all of it. Because there are things in there that nobody but me knows.

I’m writing it down anyway. If only just to get it out of my head. I will figure the rest out later. I may burn it after the fact. or I may post bits of it here.  I haven’t decided yet.

I recently read a post here about censorship that got me thinking a bit. ( I just recently started reading GGC and I think I have a serious girlcrush on her, in case you cared.)

I do censor myself a bit, aside from taking out the kids names and even my own name, I  sometimes refrain from posting bits about my life for fear of what specific people will think. Mostly, I don’t rant much about the UnHusband, because, well, I do have to live with him. But in other areas, I am probably far too honest. (See: Poo posts.)

And, while I know a few local people do read me, I do refrain from handing out my blog address to, for example, the local moms I’m in the PTA with. Mostly because I kind of hate them, but also because It’s just easier. I have pretty strong opinions on stuff, and I know some people are bound to hate me for it. I like to think people can disagree about issues and still get along, but unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Every so often I will get a quiz type thing asking me to admit to what  I have done, and have not done. I usually ignore these, because I am not, in fact, thirteen years old. But also, were I to answer honestly, my reply would be something like, “All of the above.” And I’m past the point of thinking the fact that I have done more drugs than Robin Williams is something to be proud of. Or that my sexual experimentation makes me cool. It isn’t. And it doesn’t. It’s censorship for another reason, I suppose.

I have no problem being honest about my own past and experiences, but again, there is a place for everything. And the appropriate place for my past mistakes is not an internet questionnaire.

The above was three separate pieces, essentially about the same thing from different angles, so I stuck them together in one post. I realize I’m contradicting myself a bit, but the main point is, I think, that everyone censors themselves to some extent, for whatever reason. There are appropriate places for everything, and while a persons blog should be a place where they can be open and honest about their lives, some of the more risque bits are not so appropriate for your kids school fundraiser. And you do have to take into account the feelings of your children and partners and friends, if they are a part of your story. Its hard to balance sometimes.


1 Comment

Filed under Rants, Rambling, and Musing.

One response to “Train Wreck

  1. Yeah, I’m guilty of that as well. I’ve not posted on some subjects relating to trans stuff because my mom has my LJ.

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