I confess. I have a rather severe case of road rage. And an easily identifiable car, which makes for some interesting life experiences.
For example, once I drove around some woman who was going Twenty-five miles per hour in a place where the speed limit was fifty. I went around her. That is all. I didn’t cut her off, or beep at her, or give her the finger. I just passed her.
As it turns out, she was dropping her snotty redneck spawn child off at the same preschool I was dropping my own child off at. And she decides, while walking through a class full of 3 year old children, as I am passing her with my four year old, she decides it would be a good idea to mutter under her breath to me, “Learn to drive, bitch.”
I was just so floored by this that I didn’t know what to say. Later, of course, I came up with all sorts of cool comebacks, but at the time I was just speechless. Oh my god, I went around her! She was going twenty five miles per hour! How this makes me the bitch who can’t drive, I will never understand.
This pissed me off for like, a week. I know.
Living in Florida is not helping matters. I believe that people who are driving should be driving. Preferably at or above the posted speed limits. You should not be texting your mother, eating your big-mac, writing your novel, applying your makeup, or in most cases, talking, if you can not actually drive while doing so. If you are capable of multitasking, more power to you, but if you can’t handle holding a conversation AND changing lanes, don’t do it.
Also, if you have a stupid sticker on your car, I will cut you off. I can’t help it. Expressing your appreciation for something, even something I think is stupid, is fine. Put ” I heart Chihuahua’s” stickers on your car to your hearts content. You can even support political causes and I won’t care.
(Wow, in searching for these, I got a frightening glimpse of the stupidity that is out there. Holy shit. See for yourself.)
On the way home from buying groceries I was assaulted by about 12 stupid bumper stickers during my 4.2 mile drive, including one that claims ” God says: Marriage is for one man and one woman.”
You know what? I had all these witty things to say, but what it comes down to is this. Fuck you.
Fuck your homophobic bullshit. The fact that you have nothing better to do with your money then waste it on stickers that show the world just what a sad, worthless douchetruck you are is pathetic. There is no way, that two people of the same sex getting married is ever going to affect your actual life in any way whatsofuckingever. And if your god really thinks this is such a sticker-worthy issue, fuck him too. This kind of ignorant bullshit is why I hate most organized religions.
I need a bumper sticker that says ” Religion: Promoting hate and stupidity since 1200 B.C.”
But then I’d be just as guilty. People have the right to worship as they choose, that’s fine, (it gives me things to bitch about) but stop shoving your ignorant views down the throat of society. Stop promoting hate and intolerance.
I’m resisting the urge to run you off the road. For now.